Homesickness

Over the past week I have been feeling unusually homesick for Brazil. I say unusually because I am almost always missing some aspect of Brazil but this week seemed to be more than usual. It is always the hardest right after I have left Brazil or most recently, when my little piece of Brazil that was here visiting went home. Although that was over a month ago now and I've gotten back into my routine of school and work.

This last week or so Brazil has been on my heart and mind a lot. I think it could be due to the fact that I am in the decision making process of where I am going to live and work come fall. There is an opportunity, that I will write about later when I know more definitely what is going on, that would involve being far away from home but not in Brazil. It could be that thinking about moving somewhere new and far away has got me longing to be back in Brazil which is where my heart is.

I was chatting with my friend Alessandro online a few days ago and talking about my plans to take an LST team to Brazil this summer. I basically told him that I missed everything that is Brazilian and that I couldn't stand to wait the 3 months until my team is supposed to arrive there.

Yesterday as I was getting a ride home from FriendSpeak, I was traveling in my mind to Brazil. I was imagining what it would be like to walk into my adopted Brazilian family's house in Itu instead of walking into my house here in Regina. I could picture in my mind exactly what their front room looks like. I could almost feel the cool of the tile floor on my feet and hear the sound of their yellow leather couch beneath me. I was so involved in my imaginary trip that I could even smell the beans cooking on the stove top in the kitchen. What I wouldn't give to be in that place!! What I wouldn't give to be with those people. What a longing that exists in my heart for everything that is Brazilian!! In a recent email to Victor I wrote "I MISS BRAZIL SO MUCH!!!!!! I miss living there! I miss it being my home. I miss seeing everyone all the time. I miss hearing Portuguese all the time. I miss speaking Portuguese, however bad I was at it! I miss the heat! I miss the food. I miss my Brazilian parents. I miss my life in Brazil!!" His response to my email was a question. "Why are we never happy in the place that we live??" His question is a valid question and it made me start to think a little bit deeper than just why I'm not content with living here in Canada.

I've discovered that I tend to have little revelations as I'm getting ready for bed, especially when I'm brushing my teeth. I'm not really sure why, but this is not the first time I've come to some pretty cool realizations while polishing the pearly whites. Last night as I thought about my longing for Brazil and dissatisfaction with being here in Canada another question surfaced in my mind. Why is it that I don't feel a longing to be in Heaven with God in the same way that I long to be in Brazil with my friends?? Heaven is my goal. It is why I am a follower of Christ. It is why I attempt to walk each day in the footsteps of my saviour. This is all true and I desire to reach that goal one day but I have never experienced an ache and a longing for it like I have with Brazil. Why is that??? I thought about Second Corinthians Chapter 5 where Paul writes,

"Our bodies are like tents that we live in here on earth. But when these tents are destroyed, we know that God will give each of us a place to live. These homes will not be buildings that someone has made, but they are in heaven and will last forever. While we are here on earth, we sigh because we want to live in that heavenly home. We want to put it on like clothes and not be naked. These tents we now live in are like a heavy burden, and we groan. But we don't do this just because we want to leave these bodies that will die. It is because we want to change them for bodies that will never die. God is the one who makes all of this possible. He has given us his Spirit to make us certain that he will do it. So always be cheerful! As long as we are in these bodies, we are away from the Lord. But we live by faith, not by what we see. We should be cheerful, because we would rather leave these bodies and be at home with the Lord. But whether we are at home with the Lord or away from him, we still try our best to please him. After all, Christ will judge each of us for the good or the bad that we do while living in these bodies." 2 Corinthians 5:1-10 CEV

I also thought about what Paul wrote to the Philippians "Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Phil 3:13b,14. Then he goes on to say, "Our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body." Phil 3:20,21. What I read here is Paul describing the longing that I feel towards everything that is Brazilian but directing it towards heaven and the life that we will have when we are there, our new heavenly bodies in our new heavenly home.

I want to long for heaven in the way that I have been longing for Brazil. I don't think that is wrong for me to miss and long for Brazil but it makes me uncomfortable that I don't have those strong feelings about my heavenly home. Paul's statement about our citizenship being in heaven rings so true to me! I don't want to define myself as Canadian, as true as that is. I don't want to define myself as someone who wishes she were Brazilian or at least living in Brazil, as true as that may sometimes be. I want to be defined as a follow of Christ. God did not make me for this world, not for Canada, not for Brazil, and not for any other earthly country. He made me and intended me to live with Him eternally in Heaven. A country where I need no passport and I need no visa to enter. It is God's Holy Spirit dwelling inside me that makes me a citizen.

My home is in heaven and I want to feel homesick.

Lent

This year is my first year of observing Lent. To be honest I didn't even know what Lent was up until about 5 or 6 years ago. A few months ago my roommate (who does observe Lent) was asking me if I was going to do it this year. The thought had been mulling in my brain ever since. Then someone in my spiritual formations class suggested that we should all practice Lent this year. At that point I decided to start praying about how I would observe Lent, what I would sacrifice from my daily life. I have to admit that I thought more than once about not bothering with it. I decided to do some reading and figure out just what this was all about anyway. The following is a summary of what I discovered.

Lent is supposed to be a time of soul-searching and repentance, a time for reflection and taking stock. It originated as a time of preparation for Easter. The forty days of Lent are symbolic of Jesus’ withdrawal into the wilderness for forty days. Sundays are not counted as being a part of the forty days because Sunday is traditionally the day set aside for commemorating the Resurrection of Jesus and therefore fasting was considered inappropriate on Sundays. Lent begins on Ash Wednesday, the seventh Wednesday before Easter. That means that this year Lent began on February 21st and ends on April 7th, which is the day before Easter. In some countries, the last day before Lent has become the last chance to enjoy oneself before Lent begins. This is the case in Brasil where they celebrate Carnival. I'll save my comments on Carnival for another post. Today I'm writing about Lent.

I came to the conclusion that Lent fits very nicely into how I have been trying to shape my life. I long for my focus to be completely on God. Why wouldn't I choose to simplify my life for a period of forty days with the goal of focusing on my relationship with my Lord? So I knew that I wanted to do it but I still didn't know how I was going to do it. Traditionally people gave up meat. It seems that today people observe Lent in a multitude of ways. Abstaining from TV, chocolate, junk food, caffeine, the list could go on. Basically sacrificing something from your daily life in order to help you focus on Christ. After a lot of contemplation and prayer I decided that I would give up sugar during Lent. It amazed me how much I craved it as soon as Lent started. Just knowing that I wasn't supposed to have it made me want it all the more. It hasn't been even a full week yet but I am already glad that I chose to do this. I want God to have a bigger place in my life and I believe that spiritual disciplines such as the observance of Lent can help me on this journey.

Winter Makes Me Cold!!!

I like winter just as much as the next person...or maybe not. I have come to the conclusion that I was not intended for extreme weather and therefore I was not intended for Saskatchewan! I don't like -30 and I don't like +30. I am all about happy mediums!

I would have to say that one of my biggest dislikes about winter is the endless shoveling of sidewalks! The apartment that I live in this year is the worst! First of all because it is an apartment. Technically our landlords should take care of it. I've gotten past the fact that they haven't and will not shovel my walk and also that no one else who lives in this building will either, except maybe my roommate and myself. The worst part of it all is that our front yard has nothing to block the wind at all. So even if it hasn't snowed, just a little bit of wind and you wouldn't even know that you had shoveled the day before. My front yard is just one huge snowdrift! Joyce and I have been avoiding shoveling recently, so pretty much we have been trudging through a new snowdrift every morning, and every evening. For weeks now I have been thinking that I really ought to shovel and then I just never do. Either it's too cold or I have too many other things to do. Anyway, today was the day to get it done. My sister Michelle is here for the weekend and I asked her if she wanted to help. A few moments passed before she answered with a week "not really." Just what I thought, me neither actually!!! After I had been out there for a few minutes she did come out and help which made it not only go faster but made it a lot more fun! Because it had been weeks since a shovel had even seen our front walk there was a good 5cm and in some places 10cm of hard, packed down snow. It may not be the longest sidewalk in the world but that sucker took Michelle and I an hour to clear. I took before and after pictures and I'm pretty excited by the fact that I now have a clean sidewalk!

Slowly Learning the Ins and Outs of Blogging

OK, I'm just a tad bit excited that I finally figured out how to create a link in my post. I may be a slow learner but I am a learner none-the-less! Now my next feat will be to learn how to post videos...don't hold your breath I don't have a lot of free time to play with this thing.

Let's Start Talking

Every time I sit down and try to catch up on reading people's blogs, I find more blogs of people I know. This whole blogging thing has become an epidemic! Just kidding, I love it. What a great way to stalk those special people in your lives...Just kidding again. In all seriousness, blogs are a great way to keep up to date on peoples lives and read some very deep insights on all sorts of topics. It's also a great way to share what's going on in my own life and any deep insights I might have.

Right now the most exciting thing going on in my life is that I am training a Let's Start Talking (LST) team. This is the first time that I have ever trained a team. My first experience with LST was a six week project in Kiev, Ukraine in the summer of 2000. My second LST experience was a six week project in Tallinn, Estonia in the summer of 2001. I have a lot of good memories from both of those projects! God did a lot of forming in my life through those two experiences. He introduced me to the world outside of the little Saskatchewan bubble that I had grown up in. He created an awareness and a love inside of me for all of the people in this world who do not know Him. He kindled a desire in me to go and share His love with those people! God has used the LST ministry to change my life. It was through LST that I ended up living in Itu, Brazil and working with the Igreja de Cristo there. Last summer when I went back to work with the congregation I got to play host to an LST team. And this year I am training a team to go back with me. I think that God has called me to help other young people to have the same eye-opening, faith-building, and life-changing experiences that he blessed me with.

Right now I would ask you all to pray for me as I work to train my team. This is a first for me and I feel inadequate for the task. Pray that God would empower me with His Holy Spirit so that he would be glorified. Pray for my team as we come together. Recruiting was a difficult task and I believe that God is still bringing people to join this team. Pray for us as we petition people to join with us financially in this work. Pray for the people that we will meet this summer, pray that God would prepare their hearts to hear His message. Pray for the congregation in Itu and pray for that there will be bonds of friendship built between our readers and the Christian family there. Pray that God would be glorified by all that we do.

Meeting Jospehine Johanna Prenevost

I went to Saskatoon this past weekend because I wanted to go to the hospital and visit Auntie Jewel and little Josie. On Thursday night my mom called to tell me that the hospital was closed to visitors because it was under quarantine because of Norwalk virus. I decided to go anyway with the hope that Jewel and Josie would be released while I was there. I spent Saturday afternoon and evening at Lisa and Paul's house . It was nice to visit with them and get to play with my niece Cadence. She is growing so fast!

Mommy and baby were not released on Saturday and on Sunday morning it sounded like they wouldn't be released until sometime mid-week. After church mom dropped me off at the bus depot and I was about to head back to Regina when she called my cell phone to tell me that they were being released that afternoon. I was so thankful that my bus hadn't left yet! Mom came back and picked me up and we went over to Jewel and Lou's place to watch Sarah while Lou went to pick up Auntie Jewel and Josie. Mom had to leave before they got back because she had to work at three.

Before Lou left for the hospital Sarah was dragging around the car seat saying, "It's to carry, it's to carry!" It was the cutest thing ever!

This was my first time babysitting little miss Sarah. I love this little girl to bits!!!! She is soooo photogenic! I'm jealous!

Sarah sort of ignored mom and played with me. I had so much fun loving on her!

As soon as I put her cowboy hat on her she went and got her stuffed unicorn named Neigh so that she could ride him. TOO CUTE!!!!!

The next thing I knew I was riding Neigh and Sarah was riding Neigh Jr.

I was so excited to be a part of Josie's homecoming! Sarah wasn't too sure about it I think. She looked in the car seat as I took Josie out and said "There's the baby" but then she kind of ignored her. It took a lot of coaxing to get her to sit on my knee and have a picture taken of the three of us.

Here she is in all her cuteness!

With her being such a big baby, I half expected her to look like a 2 month old. I was glad to see that she still looked like a newborn even if she weighed like a 2 month old! She is very long! She's going to be tall like her mommy and like her big sister...who is very tall for a 2 year old!

When I brought out the prayer blanket that I had made for Josie, Sarah decided that it was perfect for her, so she got to try it out before Josie did.

When Sarah seemed to have lost interest in the blanket I layed it out to get some pictures of Josie with it. Sarah didn't really like that idea and was pushing her feet underneath it and trying to pull it out from under Josie. I took the pictures quickly and gave the blanket back to Sarah.

Those long fingers are destined to play the piano like her mommy. She's five days old here and the kid could practically palm a basketball!

I love this picture of Mommy and Sisters. Sarah didn't want to have a picture at first but once I put her on mommy's knee she started to check Josie out a little. Touching her even. I think Sarah might go through some sibling jealousy until she gets used to sharing mommy and daddy with her new little sister.

It was such a blessing to see my new little cousin Josie and to spend time with Sarah. Because I was living in Brazil when Sarah was born I didn't get to meet her until 3 days before she turned one. Our second meeting was her second birthday. Since then I've been blessed to spend quite a bit of time with her and for that I am thankful. I didn't want to have to wait that long with Josie. Not only was I in the same country this time but even in the same province! I had to take advantage of the opportunity . To top it off the Prenevost family is on the move soon. They will be spending their maternity leave in Prince Albert and so it will be even further from Regina than Saskatoon is. That made actually getting to see her this weekend even more special. As otherwise our first meeting could easily have been months from now. I am looking forward to that next meeting, hopefully sooner rather than later!

A Final Installment of Holiday pictures

We stopped to take this picture on the way to Regina.

My Grandmother is the coolest lady in the world!

Here we are again looking awfully cute!

The snowboarding experience!

The skiing experience!

My little roommate Joyce.

Victor and I went to a Spiritual Formation Retreat. It was a requirement for a class that I am taking this semester and he tagged along. I think that he enjoyed it. I know I did. God did some softening of my heart in areas that have been hard for a long time now.


Retreat was held at a place called "Camp Lutherland" I honestly don't know what possessed them to give it such a name! The camp is right on Lake _______. Logan and I went out on the lake with Vitinho during some free time to talk to the people who were out ice fishing. Vitinho was very nervous about walking on the frozen lake! He was afraid that the ice was going to break. I would have been nervous too if I was him!


Here he is on top of the hill looking out over the lake.


Here is the group that participated in the retreat. We're missing Jennifer Kerr because she was taking the picture.


Here's Brett and I flexing in front of the Legislative building. When I'm around Brett we're nearly always doing something silly! :)


For me the funniest part about this picture is that the hands and ears are pink and Vitinho is BROWN!!!!!


Michelle stopped in on her way back to Ketepawa. This was the last time that they saw each other so they had to say good-bye. So sad!


It happened to be snowing when Michelle was on her way through Regina which delighted Vitinho. This was the first time since he had arrived that it had snowed. He was beginning to think that he was going to have to leave without having seen snow fall. Michelle went outside with him (I was a wimp and didn't want to go out in the cold) and they took some pictures and made a video. Michelle wrote him a little message on the windshield of the car. :)



There is a Taylor downtown called Victor Silva. We had to take a picture of Mr. Victor Petri Silva himself with the sign.


Here he is going for a spin in the gyroscope at the Science Centre. That thing is totally scary!!!! I was too chicken to go completely upside down.


Making giant bubbles at the Science Centre.


Yes he does!
Side note: It was RIDICULOUSLY cold out that afternoon!


We drove back to Saskatoon on Friday evening and stopped at the care home where mom works so that they could have one last good-bye. I nearly cried watching them say good-bye.


Vitinho want one last romp in the snow before he left to go back to Brazil. This was taken in a snow drift behind the house at the farm. He has a slightly difficult time walking through it.


And here is the picture I mentioned in an earlier post of when he let himself fall back into the snow and exclaimed "Que Deliçia!!" (Translation: how delicious!!)

Those are the last of the pictures I have to share of Vitinho's time here in Canada. It's kind of sad to wrap it up. It is hard to believe that he's been gone for just over a week now. The first few days were really hard on me. I felt pretty depressed. The fact that I'm now really busy with school prevents me from being as sad as I could easily be. I am thankful for the blessing of the Internet and programs like skype that make it easy and affordable to keep in touch. I miss my little brother and I know that he misses being here. I am so very thankful that he was able to come and meet my family and see a little bit of my world. I have wonderful memories that I will cherish forever. I hope that the trip meant as much to him as it did to me.

Estou com muitas saudades de você querido Vitinho!!!! Obrigada por ter vindo!!! Eu te amo meu irmãozinho chatinho!!!! beijos!

Another Installment of My Holiday Adventures

That dark little blob is actually Victor going tobogganing, also known as sledding to you American folks! There are two people standing at the top of the hill. The one on the left is my sister Michelle, and the one on the right is some stranger who ended up in my picture:)

This is Hugh and Irene from the church in Saskatoon. They are wonderful!!! I love them so much! They invited Michelle and Victor over for supper one night. It was a very nice time! Victor and Hugh had fun flying planes on the computer :)


Here he is all bundled up in one of mom's old ski-do suits, ready to go dig a snow fort...OK so it ended up being more like a tunnel. :)


Here is my brother Dirk and I.


This is at the entrance to the tunnel. Dirk had started digging it the previous week.


Those are Dirk's feet sticking out of the entrance and Victor is clearing away snow that Dirk has dug out.


Dirk making the ceiling of the tunnel higher.


OK, this is extremely funny... As Dirk was digging he happened upon a frozen cow pie in the middle of the tunnel. When he pried it up from the ground it was frozen onto this stick...So it's a big poop-on-a-stick!!! HAHAHA!!!!


Victor really seemed to enjoy the snow despite the cold. Here he is face first in front of the house. I really enjoyed watching him enjoy the snow!


Here is Sarah carefully reading her mommy's Bible on Sunday morning...As carefully as a 2 year old knows how :) This and the rest of the pictures in this post are all from December 31st.


And here she is giving Vitinho a good-bye hug after lunch. They became good little friends I think.


After lunch we went to the University of Saskatchewan campus and Vitinho took SOOOOO MAAAAANY pictures!!!! He was very impressed with the buildings! This is some art that is on display outside. I think it's a fun picture!


Now Vitinho is being pulled under the snow by the giant!


This is me looking cold, or maybe I'm just getting a little impatient.


Here I am at the gates...not looking much warmer :)


The Photographic wonder!


After we finished at the University I took him to the Meewasin Riverworks. We looked at the weir and we went up on this train bridge. I admit it was really cold up there but I made him go all the way across. My poor little Brazilian was frozen!


Here I am in the middle of the train bridge. Thankfully the wind wasn't too strong otherwise the cold would have been unbearable!


Vitinho looking out across the river.

After we finished taking pictures I intended to stop at the grocery store and pick up some snack type food and rent movies and then just go back to the farm and hang out. I felt really bad that I didn't ave any big plans for Victor to experience ringing in the new year in Canada. By the time we got finished touring the University and taking pictures the grocery stores were all closed. I felt even worse about not having something good for him to do. Thankfully Blockbuster was still open so we stopped to pick out a couple movies. It was a big surprise to run into Paul. I was so thankful when he invited us to come hang out with he and Lisa and watch movies together. Times like New Years Eve are in my opinion meant to be spent with good friends. I felt much better about Victor's New years eve in Canada now that we had some good friends to spend it with. I couldn't have asked for more special friends to ring in the New Year with, Lisa and Paul and my little niece Cadence and my very dear Brazilian brother, Vitinho.

Here is Paul and Lisa and I on the couch just after ringing in the new year.