Feeling Convicted

I was just reading a friend's blog and she was talking about how Satan can use people to get to us. I felt very convicted by her words which I would like to share with you.

"I'm not accusing anybody of being hell's angels, but I think Satan can and does use good, Christian people to affect us negatively. This may be a more powerful tool than most, because while we may not care what the stranger on the street thinks, a cut from a friend wounds very deeply.

They say that the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and Lord knows I'm guilty of this. So as I'm processing all of this tonight, I decided to stop thinking of my friends and start thinking of myself, and all of the beloved people in my life I am hurting through my good intentions and thoughts that are never acted upon. Who isn't feeling loved because I haven't made that call or sent that email? Am I going to continue to let Satan use me like this?"

As I read her blog, my first thought was of a specific person who I know I have hurt by venting my anger upon him. He knows who he is because I have talked to him about it. I have realised recently that I have a real problem with my temper and anger. I have realized that my anger is sinful. God and I are working on it. God has been revealing to me a lot of things about myself that are sinful and that need to change. I am thankful that God is working in my life, it is a painful process however and unfortunately it seems that I am a slow learner.

My second thought as I read her blog was just how guilty I am of not making that call or sending that email. I had already been convicted of this a few months ago when I spoke to Salena on the phone and realized it was only the second or third time that she and I had talked since we left Brazil. I mean how stupid is that!?! Even now after her visit I have only talked to her once on the phone and I don't think I've emailed at all. The worst was that i knew as I read the blog that I was also guilty of not having been in touch with the friend who wrote it. What an awful feeling to know that you've let someone down! She has assured me that it wasn't written about me but I know that I haven't done my part as her friend, knowing that she is in a difficult time right now and knowing that she needs the support of friends who understand at least partially what she is going through.

I know that I've felt hurt hurt when friends have fallen out of touch. I don't want to be the one responsible for hurting my friends in this way.